|Land of in between|
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Thursday, April 21, 2011
The unfortunate land of "in between"
I find myself in an "in between" world more often than not. Some things are more serious than others and I am grateful down to my toes that this year's "in between" is a lot more tolerable than last year's "in between" (marriage instability is about as hard on the emotions as it comes!! THANKYOUVERYMUCH) but I still find myself going through emotions and obsessing over things. The Lord is faithful in reminding me to just "be still". I am a 30 year old female who doesn't do "be still" so well. I want to be productive, I want to *make* things happen. Some things in life can't be forced. That is a tough lesson. I am impatient. The Lord brings forth things in my life to build my patience. I am sure of it. How else does one learn something without learning "how" to do it? It's about getting back to basics. Figuring out what it is what we want, and then figuring out what it is that we "can" do and then molding wants and "cans" into one unified beautiful being. So even though my marriage is stable and I have many blessings in my life, I still am left yearning to build that "life" I envision. The life of stability; in a home we feel we can stay in forever, in a budget that rewards us with savings, in cars that don't drink gas like they've been in a dessert; in a job that I have completed schooling for! I am stuck in a land of in between; looking forward to many things, and reflecting on the past.