Monday, March 29, 2010

God shows yet another new path....

Just when we thought we had settled in to our "goal" for the next few years, we are being led another direction.
Registration packets for next year went out about a week ago. I noticed no discounts listed. We count on those discounts. I use them as my pursuasion for Al to continue sending Acilia there. He is not at all fond of paying tuition, so when you save $750 bucks it helps the cause!! Well....turns out no discounts listed was no mistake. The discounts I was able to utilize the last two years, have been taken away due to making better financial sense for the school. I have my issues with that, I will share them with the school, but in short, I see members of the church getting quite a bit off of regular tuition, and to me I see *that* being more of an issue than my modest discount. Humble opinion of course. It seems as though I will need to be content with the fact that Acilia will be finishing up the school year at St. John, (the school that we adore) and then moving on to a new school next year. We were so blessed knowing how well she does at St. John and how much the school enriched our lives. Onward though, can't dwell in the the past. The school she will be attending starting next year; is none other than the school *I* attended at her age. Kinda cool right??
Life changing though. Our original plan was to stay at this house for 3 more years (Miles would then be going to kindergarten and we would be in a new home in the desired district for him to attend). Since the new situation with sending Acilia to the desired district school has fast forwarded, we must fast forward as well. God blessed me with the idea of renting our house out. I have done some reading up on the subject, and it may even be a good financial move for us!
It's just a little bit unsettling considering we had thought 3 years was good, and now we have basically sliced the time in half. I guess nothing can be left undone when your kids are the priority right? God is with us on this one. I pray and trust we are making the right decisions!

Friday, March 26, 2010


1st graders have come a long way.
Now a days, they aren't just learning the alphabet and how to form the letters.
They are learning to R-E-A-D.
Not just reading simple sentences such as; "The cat is black."
Detailed and descriptive sentences like; "There once was a boy named Marlon, he skipped to school everyday!"
Not just reading the words, but expressing where punctuation is present.!!
I adore the fact that my daugther Acilia has insisted the last few nights, that reading to herself after we tuck her in will help her fall asleep.
It's to be expected a book or two would be found on her bed left open; from when her eyes fluttered closed for the night.
Imagine my intense delight when I came into her room last night a bit after she had dozed off, to this:

Precious right??

Thursday, March 25, 2010

You capture! - Feet


How fun!!! I just love photographing feet, although; note that is a lot different from actually liking feet :::shudder:::

Puppy Feet

Fuzzy feet

Cousin feet

My feet

Collage feet

Baby feet

Sparkley feet

My feet holding my daughter as "high as the sky"

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

New followers!

I noticed my little "follower" list has grown and I wanted to say thanks for joining my blog!! I always have a lot going on in my mind and it's great to have a place that I can unleash it! Welcome welcome welcome! Feel free to introduce yourself!
If you have any questions for me (to get to know me) ask away! I may make it a new blog subject, or just answer in the comments!

Friday, March 19, 2010

You capture! A moment


The moment that a raccoon locks eyes with my camera
A calm moment

A moment of bonding
The moment you notice spring!

A moment of toddlers playing peek a boo!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Followed God's will....

Months ago, I anticipated a much different outcome to my life. I sat back and listened to the messages God was sending me, and once again, He was right. When is God ever not right? Safe hands will guide me and safe hands will hold me.

Sitting in church a few months back, I was slapped in the face with what committing adultery means. I was of the mindset that if I didn't ever cheat on my spouse, I was free from that commandment causing sin in my life. Well, it's not that simple. I am learning most all commandments directly relate to human desires and they are much harder to keep right in your life. I was actually mad when I read the verse that I posted below, because, it was speaking directly to me, and I took it as brutally honest advice.

Matthew 5:31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[f] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

I stewed over it, I was peeved, I was insulted, I was wishing I had never gotten myself into this marriage. I have seen the light, that God has so graciously shown to me, it was a slow process, but he never faulted in making me feel that I was on the right path, and to just keep following his messages to me. Tonight marks the final night of our 8 weeks in a Marriage Matters class and boy it's been a smooth yet life changing 8 weeks. I sit back and think how amazing it is how far we've come in such a short time, and how it's been such a subtle changing; almost unnoticeable change, until of course you look back to how we were right before the class started. This class was a true blessing to us. Al and I have a long way to go, but I can confidently sit here and say I am not one foot out the door anymore, and that feels quite a bit more stable than a few months ago!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Fun little Friday

My Little Life

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then c'mon back and link up (grab the code too, if you'd like!!). I would love, love, LOVE it if you'd link back to me, Mama M., the nut job behind the fun that is Five Question Friday!

No blog? That's alright!! Just answer the questions in the comments of anyone's blog along the way...this is a fun, easy way to get to know your fellow bloggers!

Questions for Friday, 3/12: (Thanks to Erica, Erin, Renee,Pam, and me (I'm dying to know the bed making thing...) for their question suggestions! Wanna be linked in a future 5QF? Mosey on over here, to my community, and offer up your best questions!)

1. How much time do you spend on the computer a day?
I go on sporatically thorughout the day, if I had to guess 2-3 hours. I know...I know...way too long. I'm working on it!

2. Will you pay for your children's college or raise them to pay for their own way?
I am hoping my kids don't go to college (until they are of reasonable age and actually *know* what they want to do) I know I won't *waste* money on them to go to college. I will not pay for them to party or to change majors a buncha times just to lengthen their school experience. That's all I can't think of on the topic, because truthfully I am in denial that my 6 and 2 year olds will actually ever BE of college age! ::::shudder::::

3. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Fender Benders, and those are scary enough!

4. What is your favorite book?
No favorites. I like self help books. I am currently working my way through The Love Dare and Love and Respect

5. Do you make your bed everyday?
Yes! I can't stand when my beds are undone! I've actually been known to make my bed while hubby is still in it! Oops!

Friday, March 5, 2010

How are we doing?

It's no secret that Al and I were going through some deep business not too long ago. We are in a different place now, and I feel the importance of sharing how we are doing...
A few months ago, I shared some horrible, deep rooted feelings that I had for him, or better yet, that I didn't have for him. I have been married to the man and internally I was not feeling that I loved him. He had put me through a lot, emotionally speaking and due to that I had fallen out of love with him, and was mentally planning to separate my life from his. It took a lot to let him know. I am the type that internalizes everything and guess what? I was internalizing my feelings for HIM. How could he have possibly known?? Due to that; he continued to believe that I was going out of my way to spite him and hurt him and in the meantime, he continued to abuse my emotions. There is absolutely no excuse for abusing someone, whether it be physical or emotional. I am not about to sit here and put blame on any victim of this form of abuse. Anytime in the past, if you would have asked me if there was any excuse to walk away from a marriage, abuse of any form was #1 on my list. My thoughts have changed. It is NOT ok to abuse anyone, and it needs to be known it is NOT ok to put up with it. But what I realized is, it is not black and white. It took me a few years to even realize what was happening to me. When I figured it out, I was enlightened and that took a huge weight off of my shoulders. You see, I had realized that I was *not* as bad as my husband had perceived me. It gave me control back in my life and I was thrilled! No, not thrilled to be the victim of abuse but to be in a place where I could do something about it! I brought what I found to Al's attention and it was the best thing I could have done. I will not speak for Al, I can't say what he felt when I informed him how I was feeling, but I can imagine no one wants to be told that their wife feels as though they are a victim of abuse, at the hands of their own husband, and also that their wife no longer loves them. It was dark, it was deep, it was our lowest point.
We dug out. We are working extremely hard, and we are starting to see light again! I enjoy spending time with him, I am feeling safer with him and I am starting to trust him again. I am allowing him into my heart and he's learned more about me than any of the 15 years we have known each other! We are working as a team. He is slowly learning that I am not doing things just to upset him, but I am doing things because I am Karrie and I do things in a way that are different from the way he does things. What a concept?
We can thank the changes in our relationship to the fact that we have learned communication is of utmost importance. Not just the daily "Hi, how was your day?" but deeper. Letting the other person know when something offensive or hurtful has been said. Sharing thoughts and hopes for the future, and best of all, we are learning to understand each other. We are taking a weekly class, it ends after 8 weeks, we are on week 7. It has taught us some great tools and I hope that what we have learned remains fresh in our minds and we continue to use it to enhance our marriage.
Best yet, there *is* still a marriage. A few months ago, I had my future in mind, and he was no where in it. I knew that wasn't right for me and that I must do everything in my power to hold on to the family I built when I said my vows.
I have seeked every avenue that has presented itself to me on this journey and I came across one sentiment that will be with me all my days
"Love is a choice; not a feeling".
Onward and upward!

A note on apologies?

Our class theme for Monday night was "How well do you apologize?" That's a loaded question. On the surface it may seem there is absolutely no issue at all apologizing when you have done something wrong, but when someone brings to your attention the importance of apologies and doing them right, suddenly they seem a tad less easy!
Acilia has been running late for school in the mornings. I have been frustrated by our morning routine, and even last week I changed my alarm clock to go off 10 minutes sooner. To my dismay, that wasn't solving the problem. Yesterday morning, was no different, we found ourselves rushing out the door and I just don't like to rush my child out the door when she will be away from home all day. In our last few moments together before she is away from me all day, I would like for us to be "zen" :) My patience was tested and I lost it (my patience, not my mind). I try to keep my cool, but of course the week of "apologies" was the perfect week to lose patience, because with impatience, should come apologies.
We are in the car on our way, Acilia is in the backseat eating her breakfast, I am listening to music attempting to stifle the guilt in my mommy mind for getting irritated with my little girl 5 minutes earlier. Guilt got the best of me and I turned the radio down "Acilia"..."what mom?" "I am sorry I lost my patience with you" "I am sorry I lost my patience with you"...I giggled. My daughter had just repeated my apology to me! Reason being? I tend to give her words when she needs to apologize to someone, so she thought I was telling her what to say, as she apologized to me! I giggled some more and said "No sweetie, I am apologizing to you,for losing my patience. No need to repeat me" she then giggled and said "Oh, well I am sorry too" :)
Sweet zen back again!