Sunday, May 31, 2009

I want this chair!

Update: I bought the chair, it is currently on it's way via UPS!! :)

If you read The Butterfly you would know why this chair seems so cool to me! I can picture it in my garden next to my new fountain, and I can picture sitting in it, remembering grandpa, watching my children play or just looking at it as a beautiful addition to my backyard! Off to save my pennies!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Let the testing begin.....

I have been drawn to try to see how far I can get in testing to be a donor for Al. It's a tough decision, not because of *me* but because I am a mom of two children, and with Al HAVING to have surgery, it should be up to me to be the one to take care of everything while he is recovering. If *I* have surgery at the same time, well, that puts things in a more complicated place. However, I have had a soft whisper in my ear, and it's gaining decibels, and that tells me that God wants me to jump in, see if I am a match (I know deep down that I am) and he will take care of the rest. So, yes Almighty Father in Heaven, I am listening. I have passed the first step (health questionnaire, basic stuff) I am moving on to step two which is a chest X-ray, EKG, and blood work. I got my paperwork today, now it's time to get scheduling! Lord be with me, I am trusting you.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Baby names....

NO, I am not pregnant, YET....however, for whatever reason I am thinking about baby names, and I wrote a few down on a piece of paper which has been sitting in my wallet. I have decided to clean my wallet and in turn I am documenting the names I like here :)

So, here it goes...
Ellia (Ellie-uh)
Avaia (Uh-vay-uh) is number one at the moment. I like it with either Selene or Camille as the middle name. Undecided at the current minute, and I do have some time to think about it ;)
I like Eden Amalia (Uh-molly-uh) too.
Melaina (Mel-ai-na) is another one I love as well as Malena (Muh-leena)
Lucia (nickname Lucy)
Leana (Lee-on-uh)

As for boys, I only have a few
I LOVE Leo, have since as long as I can remember, I even named my mechanical baby Leo Salvatore when I was in child developement :)
Salvatore is taken by Miles though, so there would have to be a different middle name, throwing around Vincent or Charles, haven't given it too much thought though.
I also like Heston, although it's not the best with Viscogliosi.
Another goodie Nigel

New additions to add:
Psalm (This jumps out at me, the words it speaks in bible verses I have read seem to have a positive uplifting effect, something very appropriate for a child of mine!)
I also like Byron!
Carma for a girl

So, that's what I had written to do something better with my time ;) Hee hee!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The butterfly

Acilia brought a butterfly home from school, little did I know what an emormous experience this would be. Read on...

The day we brought the caterpillars home, was like any other day. I thought to myself, what a fun little project. Acilia enjoyed watching the caterpillar grow....and grow....and grow! And hang upside down to reach the nutrient in the bottom. The chrysalis formed and we waited. 7 days passed. 8 days passed. 9 days passed. Since the paperwork said that it takes 7-10 days I expected that it was a possibility that it would take the full 10 days. But I was still wondering when the heck he would emerge. Day 10, a new butterfly had worked his way out to the world! The poor thing was on the bottom of the container upside down :( I worked gently to flip him on to his legs. To be honest, I thought he didn't make it and I had discovered an unfortunate circumstance. NOT the case. Butterfly was alive, and fine. Aside from his horribly mangled wings. Emerging and then landing on his back with all the weight on his delicate wings proved to be a challenge for this little guy. HOWEVER, this butterfly has a spirit and a will to live. As "coincidence" (or perfectly configured by the good Lord himself to show us in true form how he really is with us in every way) would have it. The day the butterfly emerged was the same day my grandfather passed away. I saw the symbolism in it, and explained to Acilia how neat I thought it was that the butterfly freed himself from his crysalis the same day Grandpa "Cuckoo" (they have a cuckoo clock) freed himself from cancer. It was a beautiful experience. Even more beautiful; today was the funeral. We thought it would be neat to release the butterfly by Grandpa's grave. Acilia loved this idea, so she carefully carried the little fighter in it's container. We brought it in to the church for the service. Would you believe that the bulletin for Grandpa's funeral had a beautiful butterfly on it??? I felt compelled after this discovery to share all of this with the Pastor that would be performing the service. I went up and spoke with him about what a neat little story this school project has become. He thought it was neat too, and worked it in to his sermon! The service ended and we moved on to the grave site. Acilia picked a flower to release her butterfly onto, and this butterfly was at home right away surrounded by beauty!

This morning, Acilia began to cry, she missed her butterfly :( I can't help but think it's misplaced sorrow for the loss we have on a much bigger scale, but to make her feel better, we went outside and I showed her a bush we have in our yard that should attract butterflies all summer because it's called a "Butterfly bush" while we were outside, wouldn't ya know we were graced with the first butterfly of the season in our yard??

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The time has come for his wings to fly....

My grandpa passed away this morning. 7:40 am.

Life begins with a date and a time. Life ends with a date and a time. The dates and times in between are points in your life where you imprint memories and happiness on your loved ones hearts.

Oscar Thon~ 1/10/1919- 5/20/2009

I have found peace in all of this, through "coincidences" which I am sure are not coincidences but comfort from God himself.

Acilia brought home a caterpillar 2 weeks ago. It was growing and growing and growing and finally on May 10th, it formed it's chrysalis. The paperwork says a butterfly would emerge in 7-10 days. How perfect that today, is day 10 and I came down to find the butterfly had emerged. It was comforting to know, that the butterfly broke free, at the same time that Grandpa broke free from cancer. If my butterfly is ready to released, I hope to release it near grandpa's grave the day he is buried. They can "fly" together.

I had a comforting dream the other night.
In my dream, Grandpa was sitting in his chair. He was in the same physical state, however he had his strength of voice back. Grandma said she was going to be so lonely without him. He was comforting her, and then reached under his chair to pull out a big box. In it, was a huge comfy blanket. He wrapped it around her. To me it symbolizes how he will wrap his arms around her even if he's not here to do it physically.

I have been listening to KLOVE daily. There is a song that is awesome, and especially awesome for what we have been going through.
The lyrics are as follows:
Chris Tomlin - I Will Rise
From the album Hello Love

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say, "it is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, "worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart, "worthy is the Lamb"

I am not kidding when I tell you this song has had impeccable timing the last few days!
My alarm is set to turn on the radio and yesterday, wouldn't you know that was the first song I heard? And, wouldn't you further know that after I left grandma and grandpa's house yesterday, yup! First song I heard when I got in the car. That may be coincidence, however, is it also coincidental that it came on the radio right after I found out that grandpa had passed away? Yeah....I didn't think it was a coincidence. I am learning that coincidence doesn't exist!

Thon, Oscar W.
Oscar W. "Tony" Thon, 90 of Bartlett, formerly of Addison. Beloved husband of Verna nee Moeller; loving father of Beverly (Thomas) Novak, Robert (Mary) Thon, Cynthia (David) Russell and Shelby (Joe)Latoria; dearest grandfather of Tim, Laura, Shawn, Anne, Joe, Stephanie, Amy and Karrie; loving great grandfather of Joey, Alison, Acilia, Samuel, Kate, Benjamin, Kristin, Jack and Miles. Visitation Friday, 3 to 9 p.m. at Humes Funeral Home, 320 W. Lake St., Addison (2 Mi W of Rt. 83, 2 mi E. of Rt.53). Lying in state Saturday, 10 a.m. Funeral 11 a.m. at St. Paul Ev. Lutheran Church, 37 Army Trail Rd., Addison. Interment St. Paul Cemetery. If desired, memorials to the church or CNS Hospice, 690 E. North Ave., Carol Stream, 60188 greatly appreciated.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

He's ready

His body is fighting
His mind is set
He's ready to go, he's ready for his wings
He's begging "Dear God" take me to my mom
I want to walk with her, laugh with her, hold her
He's ready, he's waiting, he wants to go
"Please Dear God won't you take him"
We have been blessed to have such a man
In our lives to show us how life has it's plan
We soak him up with all we can
He's made the perfect role model
His spirit will live on
He knows it, we know it, please won't you pray
"Lord, he gives his life to you, he repents his sins, he's ready for you,
take him Lord, give him his wings, he's ready, he's willing, he's waiting"
I see it in his eyes, he's at peace with this change
he is not scared, he is not fighting, he's ready
It's beautiful to see a man start so strong, his body is fading but his spirit is still so full of what he has to offer.
I pray with him, I am thankful for him, I am so grateful I have this last bit of time with him
I watch the love that is ever present between he and she, it's amazing, a true sight to see!
It's time for him to go, we ask of you so
Please take him, he's ready, oh please can't he go?

This poem is for my grandfather. A little blurp about him in my blog just would not do this man justice, he is a man that has touched every single person he has ever been in contact with. He is loyal, respected, he loves my grandma with all of him and she loves him the same. The life he has made with grandma is one that can teach all those around them, it's so apparent to me the strength in faith and wisdom they have. Grandpa is a soft spoken man with a lot to say. If you listen to him, you truly would learn more than you could ever in a day!
He has mesothelioma, otherwise known as lung cancer, he is fading fast. Each time I visit, it's clear that he is walking closer to his life in Heaven, I can't help but want to soak him up a little bit more! He is 90 years old, a full life he has lived, he's ready to go, and I just try to comfort him and reassure him that God will take him when he's ready for him.
Today was a visit I will cherish forever. I went into his room, I was holding his hand, he put his hands together, he wanted me to pray with him. (I prayed with him last time I was there, melts my heart that he remembered and wanted me to do it again!) I prayed with him, and then I went to get my bulletin from the church service today. I told him I would read him the prayer of the day, the Old Testament reading, and Holy Gospel. I got through the Old Testament reading and then he was motioning for me to get his "white bible" from the book shelf next to me. He had a prayer marked in the book that he wanted me to read. It was a prayer that made clear to me that he is ready to go. It was a prayer that said he gives himself fully to God. He truly does. It is abundatly clear. I finished the prayer with Amen, and he was able to get his words out that "He is ready". I told him it's ok, and that he can just keep resting. He wants so badly to go in his sleep. I pray so hard that's the way he will go. He's willing, he's waiting. I am willing and waiting to do whatever he needs while I am with him. In the mean time, I tell him I love him, and tell him to sleep. Sleep grandpa sleep...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Psalm 23:4

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

No age limit.

Apparently kidney failure has no age limit, and neither does dialysis. I was contacted by a fellow blogger, who has a 1 year old on dialysis. WOW! It's been over 24 hours and I still can't fathom having a sweet precious little baby (very close to my son's age mind you) on dialysis. I am glad she found me however, it's so neat to compare notes and share stories! I look forward to following her and her sweet little boy's story!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

So proud of my "sweet girl"!

A little background. Acilia has a piggy bank in her room. She is very very VERY good at saving every penny she gets because she wants to buy a horse someday ;) We were having some issues with the way she was handling respect toward us a while back, so we got her what we can a "sweet girl" bank. (We actually found a bank that has "Sweet girl" inscribed on it!!) When she had a good day, and she was "sweet" she would get a dollar at the end of the day. This gave her a way to save money to buy something for herself, but not take money out of her savings for a horse. It works rather well, she has been able to buy a few things for herself, with her own money and she really enjoys seeing what money can buy.
There have been times where we are particularly proud of her, and at our discretion, we will give her a $5 dollar bill. This happens very seldom, and when it does, she is pretty excited about it.
On to tonight and the heartmelting dialogue!

Acilia had a sliver in her finger. You know any child and the "thought" that something may hurt, and you have something that could take about 30 seconds, lasting about an hour! Tonight was different for some reason. When I told Acilia I would not hurt her when I was getting it out, she actually believed me and sat there like an angel fighting to be brave! I was truly proud of her, and when I got the sliver out, we looked at it, and she told it, it was a "bad sliver" and we both giggled. Then I let her in on the fact that I am so proud of her, that I am going to give her $5! Ready for the sweet part? She said "Oh! I will put $2 in my sweet girl bank, $2 in my piggy bank, and give $1 to Miles!" My heart truly melted into a puddle! She is a special child!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

God has filled my plate!!

I feel blessed to finally be in a position where my creativity may get some "real" use! I have spent years writing poems, drawing floor plans for homes, decorating, doing hair and make up, planning weddings.....all things that you could potentially make money doing, but I never felt I had the resources to turn any of those things into a "business" even though I tried with a few of them!
Last night, I went to a mandatory meeting at Acilia's school. The school is one of the few Lutheran schools in the area and they are in financial trouble! :( Due to this dilemna, understandably tuition rates have gone up. What hurts more though is to see families turning away from St. John because what was hard to afford before, just became much harder. On top of that, two teachers in a school that feels like family have been "let go" and it just hurts to watch.
I am an idea girl. I brainstorm actions all the time, I create lists and pictures and talk talk talk until I am heard. You better believe this situation is no different! God called me to St. John and it was abundantly clear to me that not only does he want my daughter to be a part of a Lutheran family education, but he also wants me to help the school! So, I have started "Team Boost" in an effort to save the St. John family from further detioration!! It feels so good to have these answers brought to me through the good Lord!! Prayers get answered people! Keep on praying!
In the meantime, if you are feeling as though you can help financially, you may visit my paypal page to donate to St. John. 100% of the proceeds will go to a school that needs support to thrive!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Grab my button! Spread the word!

I added a button for Al's "cause" in needing a kidney, you will find the code on the right hand side. Please feel free to take it and use it in your own blog!! The more that read about Al's story, the higher the chance that he will get that kidney, we are ever so patiently waiting for!!!!
Thanks for your support :)