Friday, June 3, 2011

Life's new path

Well, I had surgery on my foot a week ago today. I got a call from the doctor yesterday about the biopsy. It's never good when you hear from the doctor; but for some reason this call was unexpected and I don't think anything really registered as he told me. It was found that what I had was a "rheumatoid nodule". I didn't know I had rheumatoid arthritis, and it's not officially diagnosed until I see a doctor and have some blood work but the nodules almost exclusively mean you have RA. I took the news and hung up the phone. My mind started going, but I was minutes away from a playdate with a friend and her boys, so I made the conscious decision to put it aside in my mind. I began to research when I had the chance and am working on nailing down a doctor appointment (I haven't had a primary care physician because I am a healthy lady!! But was on the path to finding one due to some back pain I've been having) as the day went on, pieces of recent years were puzzling themselves together  (severe neck pain/stiffness, random days of pain in wrist, knee, ankles, exhaustion) and I was really just trying not to go nuts about this whole thing. Nothing is 100% aside from the fact that what was removed is infact a rheumatoid nodule and if I say that any more; I may just enter an out of body experience. :)

The reading I have done on rheumatoid arthritis makes the prognosis sound manageable and to be honest, there are definitely people in the world that have way worse problems, AND I am incredibly thankful for my high pain tolerance. I am under the impression that if it IS RA, I have had it for quite sometime; rheumatoid nodules generally appear in advanced cases of RA and I've been having symptoms for many years.

I worked hard yesterday to focus on NOT developing symptoms because of what I was told :) I remember clearly the day I took a pregnancy test with my daughter (first born) the test turned positive and I IMMEDIATELY felt like morning sickness kicked in! Ha! I know for a fact if I hadn't taken a test at that very moment, I would not have been experiencing any symptoms, but pulling something to your consciousness suddenly makes me ultra sensitive to "clues" :)

My prayers are that I always remember God is good and I know he has a plan for me; this is part of the plan, nothing is a surprise to the almighty Heavenly Father!

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