Thursday, June 30, 2011

Jesus loves you

As I sit here and read another journal entry for the sweet and strong Kate Mcrae they are enduring something no one would wish on their worst enemy and her words enlightened me. Stregthened me. Were just what I needed to hear. Our lives couldn't be more different. They are experiencing the fight of a lifetime with their innocent daughter battling cancer, I am here sitting in a stable life. Yet, we have something in common. The core of our lives; Jesus. He loves them. He loves me. He loves you! This morning, I was internally struggling as I always do, not feeling what my husband needs from me. I often times feel defeated, that I am neglecting to give my husband what he needs and just not having it in me to give him. I spend a lot of time in prayer over this; and to be honest, I was just needing something today. Something that tells me it's ok; the job is not mine. I sat down here at my computer and opened up my email. A journal update for Kate; it was 2 years ago that Kate and her family learned of a brain tumor growing in her little body. The last paragraph gave me the sign I needed today; Kate's mom goes on to say that Jesus loves her sweet Kate more than she could. They clicked for me. Jesus loves my husband; more than I ever could! He loves my children more than I ever could; he loves my family and my neighbors and everyone in the world; more than I ever could. Jesus is bigger than me; a lot bigger and he has the capability to give each and every individual what they need. I am at a point where I believe my prayer needs to shift a little bit; yes I still would like to challenge myself to give my husband what he needs, but to know that it's not all my job; that I can pray that he opens himself up to receive Jesus' unending love and know deep down that's all he needs. It is a profound moment for me. More profound that I can ever type here. I have a thankful heart at this very moment. Peace and comfort and hope!

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