I am compelled to note the truth behind the "fluff" of this shallow, fun, useless topic. Something deeper presents itself.
I am working really hard to become a better wife. Not just a wife that Al wants, but higher; be the wife that God wants me to be. All of the hard times that Al and I have gone through; I put a lot of blame on him. He was just more outward with what he was doing to me. I was suffering and in defense mode. Those times were completely relevant to our lives. It was so hard to walk through, but on the other side now I see that God was shaping me and gently urging me to open my eyes to myself and to realize that my passive aggressive defensive ways even though I wasn't the "offender" most times, I was still not acting in a Godly way toward my husband. I am soaking up all the information I can to be a better, Godly wife and I still have miles and miles to go. Every time there is a conflict between us, I find myself praying hard with confusion as to what I need to do in each and every situation. It's truly exhausting. I am growing so fast I feel the growing pains in my heart and though there is so much hope there is also a demanding stamina that sometimes I just don't know how to keep up. Each and every day is a trial and I am happy that some of those days I am able to go to sleep knowing I did it the "right" way in God's eyes. Each day I learn something new about what God wants from me and I have the comfort knowing that as I learn, he is there with me.
I am excited to share some of the specific things I have learned to be a better wife. However, I am not quite ready yet, I want to master them first so I can speak from experience, not just from the books I am reading :)
|Our 5th anniversary trip to Vegas August 2009|