I am not a girl that makes New Year's resolutions. Atleast not "specifically". I did start the year as I have in the past with high hopes for a great year. I didn't put much thought into it, but enough to know that I made some changes starting January 1st; in hopes of attaining a great year.
Remember when we started our budget? I was freaked out that I would mess it up. I am so happy to report that it's been almost seamless so far and I have made a lot of mind changes about how our money can be stretched and saved in the future. I am so excited to admit that I have decided my Escalade is not conducive to my lifestyle because it drinks gasoline like it's been dehydrated in the desert it's whole life! My next budget friendly brainstorm is shaping up in my mind, not sure how it will look on paper, but I am so thrilled that my mind is going in this direction! I just feel so much better about my life and my standards being more in line with leading a life that is not above our means. I just turned 30, who's to say that is the time for a dream car and a dream house and a dream job? It takes time, and I've finally realized it takes effort. I have the obligation to myself to commit to aspirations in life and I am bound and determined to follow through with what feels right.
I started another new class. Psychology the Lifespan (loving it so far!) I have been going to school chipping away at my gen eds to apply to the Associates Degree in Nursing program. My hopeful ambition is to apply to the program next winter, to start Fall of 2012, I have anatomy and physiology and chemistry to complete before applying. I also wanted to get as many gen eds out of the way so I can focus 100% on my nursing classes. I am kind of OCD that way, I want to focus on each class as if it's my only concern in the world. Along with momhood and running a household, it seems as though if I were to take more than one class, I would not uphold my 4.0 GPA that I have going now. It seems with each new class though, my pressure on myself builds. I was never one for school. I spend more time at home than I did in class. Mostly because of my anxiety, but also because there is something in me that gives up when I am "bored". It's a horrible aspect of "Karrie" but it's something I have to be honest about if I am hoping to overcome this part of myself. It doesn't help that I have a husband who has seen my track record and holds me highly accountable for not wasting his money. I could tell him 1,000 times x 1,000 more how important it is to have his support in this part of my life, but when it comes down to it; he's a "prove it to me" kind of guy and I haven't yet proven to him I am serious about nursing. The only way to find out if I am truly going to follow through is to have my RN title. And guess what, what if I *don't* like it after all of this?? It's a growing fear of mine and there is really no way to get around it, aside from moving one step forward at a time and really staying focused. I don't want to be focused on "proving him wrong" but, part of me feels that way!
Oh to see into the future; to confirm that I am on the right track....wouldn't that be great?