Friday, February 25, 2011
What am I doing wrong?
I am typing with a heavy heart right now. I have a strong desire for role modeling behavior to be 100% around kids. It is our job as adults to form the future generations that we bring into this world and in simple day to day ways, we could either help or seriously harm the future! I go out of my way to act and speak in a way that if young ears were to hear they would pick up kind and loving, subtle, non aggressive cues. It becomes habitual if you are paranoid to the fact that there are always little ears listening when you act and speak. I feel like I have mastered the habit, though will never be 100% perfect, human nature stinks sometimes! It hurts to have those close to my kids not use role model behavior, and on top of that don't seem to have a desire to change it. Suddenly I have no control over it, and even more so it's something my children can easily pick up because it's in my home. My struggle to remain humble and not come off as better than my "neighbors" is really blurring the line between how to be a gentle servant and guiding those that have such strong influence on my kids. It's a really hard line to find and I am feeling like I am failing miserably. Not only jeopardizing my kids, but worse, jeopardizing knowing the difference between my standards and God's standards. There is so much more to learn.
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I feel your struggle here and wish I could offer advice. Instead, I will offer you encouragement to keep modeling the behavior that you expect of your children because they're watching how you react as well.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever worry that the negative behavior becomes accepted as "the norm", remind yourself that it makes your positive behavior stand out even more.
Your kids are always going to have 'bad' influences in our lives. God has given us, as parents, the amazing privilege to teach them the right way to go. Remember YOU are the biggest influence in their lives...God designed it that way! and no, you can't control it...you can pray for them and do the right thing for them and that's all you can do! So, sounds like you are doing okay!
ReplyDeleteMandy
I usually feel like I am the bad influence...at times :-) I hear you though. Sometimes I wish I could shut them away and not let them see or hear some of the things in this world...but I do believe with prayer and Godly wise intervention/parenting....they will choose the right path for their own futures. I read a lot of Proverbs to try and get inspired!
ReplyDelete~Kimberly
I can't even imagine how hard it would be... I still have it in my mind that if I ever do get blessed with children, I will be the only influence in their lives. I obviously know and understand that isn't true, but it's still how things play out in my mind! ;)
ReplyDeleteI have no words of advice for you friend, but I do believe that the best thing you can do is continue to be that influence to your children... they will see that and learn from you. And I am sure you are an amazing mother!
Guide by example that is what we are told to do. This is much easier said than done. I try to be a kind, loving, and understanding mom the rest seems to fall into place. Keep up your good fight, they see how you lead and will in turn follow. Don't let your "worries" get in the way. (I know that is what us moms do best)Hugs you are a fantastic mom and friend.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean, honestly there are a lot of ways I don't really curtail myself that I should. Sometimes I think its better to be authentic though because if its not who I am, my kids and others will known that. I know it'd be best to work to improve myself in areas I fall short and I am trying, I could do a lot more but I'm trying and have made some changes. But judging others is somewhere I fall short. I think I tend to judge in different ways than most people do, and even judge people for how they judge others. It's a weird vicious circle. But I try to also balance it with being open with my kids about my faults. When I find myself ragging on someone else out loud I try to stop and find the positives in them too and especially point out places where I feel they are better than myself.
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