Sunday, October 14, 2012

The path we are on, leads us to the path we want to go!

The best way to figure out what you don't want in life is by living in it...This post is not in any way meant to make me sound ungrateful for what I have. Believe me, I am happy with the blessings I have in my life and there are many, even on my bad days, I can see through to the wonderful things that are designed for me to take peace and comfort. God is good like that. This house we live in. It's our first house. Everytime we think about selling, I find things that are endearing about it, things that we will most likely never have again in future homes. Then, there are the things I prefer not to have in future homes. Things like boxed off rooms. I've talked about my prayer for an open floor plan in our next house. I've also talked about wanting an eat in kitchen. Something we sacrificed in this house for an island in the middle of the kitchen. Infact, the island has seating, but only room for 2 chairs. When you do the math, 2 chairs for 4 people, not good odds for everyone having a seat to eat. Each night at dinnertime, we separate to eat. It's a horrendous habit. I look forward to the next house having room for a table for us all to sit down together, without the TV, to have that family bonding time that is said to be so important at dinner time.
the island with two chairs.
Seating is critical, not just for our family, but for having company over. I was never big on the idea of entertaining. Now, that we have a house that doesn't fit company very comfortably, I realize that is something I won't sacrifice in the next house. This is the point you might be thinking "Karrie, atleast you have a house, quit your complaining". Believe me when I say, I am aware of the fact that this house is a blessing. We've been able to make the mortgage payments even through tough financial times when Al was on dialysis, and even though paying the bills has been a stress on Al's heart and mind (he's the soul provider) this family has a place we can call home that certainly suits our needs. Living here has taught me what would work for our family and what we can pray for next time. Miles sleeps in a sort of "half room" if you will. I am pretty convinced it was an addition at some point, the walls are not insulated and there is a non-orignal feel to it. It doesn't even have a closet, but there is ample storage on each side (behind the walls, but it's not finished, so we just use it for storage)...Miles' room is a perfect "play room" but it's not ideal for a bedroom. True story. Don't judge me.
Don't let the looks of it fool you, I've worked hard to make it cute, but it's freezing in the winter and hot in the summer. And all of the kid's clothes are jammed into Acilia's closet...
 However, on the other side, I am quite pleased with our master bedroom which if I didn't know better, I would swear it was once two separate rooms! It is huge and it has two closets. Not standard for a home at the beginning of the 19th century.
Check out more pictures of our bedroom here, It really is a great room!
The bathroom downstairs used to be a huge pantry, I am sure of it. But it makes a great sized bathroom.
It's big, this picture doesn't do it justice, it used to have a full sized tub in it, before we ripped it out.
 The house is practical. I am trying to learn to live practical. But my desires get in the way. Perhaps it's something I need to work on. Perhaps what will be good enough is the compromise between practical and desirable. As I sit here on this rainy Sunday afternoon, we just got home from my cousin's house who had their daughter baptized today. It was so nice to celebrate at their house,  instead of going to a restaurant like a lot of parties are held.
Acilia holding the guest of honor

It allowed me to see what it's like to entertain a big group of people, and I liked it. I look forward to doing that at our house someday. It excited me to think of having people in my home, to allow them to make themselves at home and to serve them. A real challenge, but a joyful one would be to host Thanksgiving someday. All trial and error, but I have some wonderful people around me to teach me and to learn from their example. 

If you aren't already thinking it, I will put it out there. Yesterday, I posted about how living in the past makes you depressed and living in the future makes you anxious. And yes, thinking about our future home most certainly is failing to be here and focusing on what we do have vs. what we hope to have in the future. It is true I am feeling a little down today, the rainy weather gets me, I need the sun! But all of that aside, it was so nice to be with family today, celebrating a special little girl becoming a part of God's family. It was great to be surrounded by family and it always puts a smile on my face to think about our future home. Our hope and prayer is that the next house is a permanent home. Where we can really plant our roots and make it a home. Because even though we've lived in this house for 8 years, it's never felt like home. That's the honest truth. I crave a home. A place where I feel we are comfortable and enjoy being there.

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