Sunday, May 1, 2011

Love and Respect

Last night my husband spoke to me from his heart. His delivery of the message left me feeling hurt and unworthy, but this morning, I have a different perspective. We have not had much time at all together for the past few weeks, it's the "busy season" at work and with that comes demanding hours and a tired husband. I am left to keep the pieces of our family puzzle together and always reminded that I have a husband that has thoughts and wishes for this family too; he's just not here to voice his concerns. This puts me in a sort of mind reader position and I will admit here that I usually fail miserably in trying to do as my husband pleases, instead of what my natural instincts are. That is a huge battle in my heart. When Al came to me last night bitter and resenting the fact that he is feeling complete and utter disrespect from me, my heart dropped. I keep trying to please this man; yet he still feels I am going against his wishes regularly. It was hard not to get defensive, and I am pretty convinced my lack of compassion for his words came off as I didn't care. I was hurt and I didn't know what to say. If one thing I have learned over our time in this marriage is that words do hurt. I often times am left not knowing what to say, because I don't want to hurt the situation more than it already is. I've been accused many times of ignoring what my husband is saying just because I don't know what to say. I'm working on that.
I have a book called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs; it's been collecting dust next to my bed. I have a tendency to dig into my library of self help books as the need arises. The need arose this morning; the book is here next to me and I am reading with delight. I am always so pleased in how God responds to my needs with Earthly tools. I am here today with an engergized spirit of thankfulness that my husband came to me last night with his concerns. His method could use a little tweaking; yet his message this time was completely clear and it took time to sort through my hurt to realize how blessed I am to have a husband that so clearly cried out to me what his needs are and furthermore that it's a common enough need that there are books out there specifically for this desire of a man's. I feel God with me on this path to become a new and better wife.


  1. Your humble spirit and honesty is so refreshing.

  2. Love and Respect will change your life!!!! Love that book.. and My hubby even led a small group study of it... Let me jsut say, that I read the book before my hubby.. and applied the principles.. and allowed Grace to flood my heart.. He could not stop talking about it to others.. and then He finally read the book...LOL we have laughed and laughed.. My advice is for you two to read it together..or at least both be reading it!

  3. M&ms I agree!! When I started reading it last time, I would read it while in the same room as him; read out loud the parts that we can both benefit from :) It's such a simple, yet amazing concept!!

  4. It's always refreshing to hear that others go through similar yet uniquely their own challenging times. Obviously it's stressful and not a "fun" thing to go through. But working them out and digging into your own soul can really be a good thing. A lot of people do not have the maturity to look at matters as you do. I will have to look up that book! Marriage is such a journey!


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