Thursday, March 12, 2009

As promised, an explanation to "The Name"

I am not sure I can clearly put into words my feelings on this topic, and to keep it within one post, but 'tis my goal!

I am Karrie (as you know) if you live a few days out in the world, you realize that "Karrie" is a rather common name and there are MANY ways to spell it! My mother, named Shelby (NOT a common name when she grew up, and she has rather dramatically stated numerous times how she wasn't too pleased with the name) strived to give her children "normal and common" names so they would grow up not feeling the "stigma" attached to her experiences as a child. As good natured as my mother is, and as much as she thought she was doing my brother and myself a favor, I am confident I can put a different spin on it all! Karrie, a child who was always different from others, felt as though Karrie was not a suitable name for such a unique girl, especially considering the fact that each and every class and experience I was a part of, I "shared" my name with other Karrie's. Fast forward to childbearing years, I made it my not so silent mission to give my children one of a kind names. It was my first and most important gift from mommy to them.

We found ourselves pregnant for the first time as a young, unmarried couple. I allowed "fate" to weave it's way through the process of my pregnancy. Literally days after I found out I was pregnant, I came across the name Acilia. It was beautiful and elegant and definitely unique! WOW! Naming our first child was an easy task, especially considering Al agreed that it was a great name!

Fast forward to our second pregnancy. The "naming" would simply not be as easy, infact it would be downright nasty. The day that we found out we were to be blessed with a bouncing baby boy, should have been a joyous event. I almost cried. You see, I had in the back of my mind what quite possibly could be the worst battle of my life staring me in the face. My husband, whom, love him dearly, is the MOST STUBBORN MAN YOU WILL EVER MEET. It was my husband's dream, wish, high hope to name his first son Michael Albert. Irony! Considering the fact that Michael was on the list of "TOP 10 BABY NAMES OF 2008" this did NOT at all, not even a little bit, fit in to my "mommy goal" of granting my children names that are unique to them.
What to do?????? My brain wheels started turning, as they often do, and I was ready to compromise so myself, and my husband could grant our child what WE together felt was the perfect gift. I began my compromising plan with asking Albert if we could come up with a first name together, and use Michael Albert as his middle name. Albert was having NO part of this. He was following a family tradition by demanding this name be unchanged when it's printed on that birth certificate. Trying to be understanding...I decided to speak with his family. I felt if this tradition was as important to them, as it was to him, he may have some more serious ground to stand on. My suspicions were blown away when I spoke to his parents and was clearly told they have NO say what we name our child, and it is infact not a big deal to them at all whether we follow tradition or not. It was simply something that had been "stumbled" upon over the years.

Albert however, was unchanged. His mind was made up, his son's name would be Michael Albert and that was it. Many tears, many conversations, many "woe is me's" later, we are at the hospital with a child that has been born, again, should have been a joyous occasion, instead of being happy and exciting, it was miserable! The time had come for us to officially name our child and I was not at all on board with his name, and Albert was not at all about to budge! I was praying, I was talking to others, I was pleading with myself to come to terms with what I was facing, but our son still came home with no middle name. I had 100% begrudgingly given in to naming our son Michael, against my every bone, however, I did not have it in me to give in on his middle name. We went home, and "slept on it". We came to an agreement, no one was there with us, but I can guarantee this is how the conversation went down. I was not speaking to Al, we were in bed, then "it" came to me! And agreement that could possibly work, I sat up and said "Here is what I am prepared to do" "He will be Michael Albert on the birth certificate, but everyone will know him as Michael Salvatore, birth announcement, baptism, graduation, the works." (Salvatore is my dad's middle name, and I had started to feel, if we were going to honor Al's family, we needed to honor mine as well.) Albert agreed to this, and it was a done deal. I called the next day, to have our son's name official"ized" (I know it's not a word!) on the birth certificate, and I got to work on his birth announcements.

The story does not end there. I still HATE my child's name, HATE IT! Not the name itself, but all of the emotions that are attached to it!
He was 3 months old when he began smiling. He smiled ALLLL the time, infact, it seemed suitable to call him "Miles" due to the fact that he smiled all the time, and his name started with "M". This felt right at the time, it felt as though God had finally given me some resolution to this neverending matter. I began calling him Miles, I have asked my family to call him Miles, everyone that meets him has been introduced to him as "Miles" and it just fits him. I firmly believe, calling him Miles is my "defense mechanism" I hope and pray that it sticks as he gets older. I am going to do my best to help it along the way. His father wanted to give him a piece of tradition. His mother had no say whatsoever in it, no matter how hard she tried. So, that's it. My emotions are not at all closed on the story. However, this story is now officially closed!


  1. I linked to your blog through SIF. Wow, I know the feeling of having a stubborn man, but I think you might have the grand prize. Hopefully this isn't a glimpse into the way life will be for you. But he owes you BIG now!

    1. We been together for many years and married for 8, he's been stubborn all along, admittedly I have too ;) We have learned to compromise a bit over the years, but that particular situation was the epitome of torture for *both* of us! LOL!


I love to hear what you have to say! Please feel free to post your thoughts!