Monday, April 1, 2013

Ups and downs

Life has many ups and downs. One day, one hour, one minute could be filled with joy, then like a light switch, it can change for the worse.

Easter was wonderful this year, not for any special reason, just because it was nice to see family and see the joy on my kids' faces and church, it always delivers wonderment for me!

And then comes the "down". I remember I am still me, completely and utterly imperfect. Most days I am cool with the fact that I am not perfect, because I am not a perfectionist, however there are things about myself that no matter how hard I try to change them, I fall short and end up feeling as though I am "pretending" and that is the exact opposite of the "authentic person" I want to be.  There is this thing that gets in the way, it's called emotions. Yes, I feel and notice a lot of good around me, but I tend to get caught up in the fact that life is not all good and not everyone is in the same place in their journey as I am, and I on good days, I am understanding of that fact. On bad days, I can't comprehend it and I start to think that it's *my* problem and I then fall into a spiral of thought and emotion. This morning is an emotional day, no one would know it looking at me, I still have that optimistic smile, however inside I am questioning myself and what I can do differently to navigate through this crazy thing called "life". Ultimately I want to be the best I can be, and I have so many aspirations and at times I get so overwhelmed by what I *want* to do, that I turn into a lazy bug that is paralyzed into doing nothing more than sitting at my computer. The good news is, I am not in denial about it :) I *know* these things and I *know* I want to change, and I think we can all agree, that's the first step right? 

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand what you are saying. I have been battling weight, I know what to do, how to do and yet I fall short. Then I cave in because I've fallen short.


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