So close...but what if?

I dream, I plan, I think about things way too much. But I have something that holds me back from really "tasting" what's to come and planning like it's actually going to happen. When I was a kid, I would sit in my room and draw floor plans. It excited me and I would dream of someday living in a house that I designed. It was something I thought about a lot, but it seemed so far away I think I put it out of my mind as if it was never going to happen. Al and I have been in our home for 6 years. It was a starter home and I've been wanting to hightail it outta here since Miles was born in 2008. The economy put us in the same boat as everyone else, stuck in a home that we owe more than it's now worth. A few years have passed, we haven't allowed our dream of moving be squashed, we just feel like we have to get more creative. Al has mentioned many times how he would like to build a home that suits our needs. If anyone can do such a project, it's him! He's amazing, he could very easily pull together all the resources he has gathered over his many many MANY years as an electrician and we could build a home. It's a very real possibility. But, it was still an overwhelming possibility for me. Not too long ago we dove into renovating our current home and I swore up and down I would NEVER want to do that again. Well, we wouldn't be renovating, but building is much alike, even worse if you think about it!! My mind seems to think it might be worth it. Every once in a great while, on a whim I check out local lot's for sale. Just to see what's out there. About a month or so ago I came across a lot that is 1.3 acres. I wanted to drive past and when I did, I found the map was wrong. I was in the middle of a townhome community and there were no vacant lot's in sight. I called the realtor who redirected me to the right location. Which happened to be LITERALLY across the creek from my parent's back yard. The way I stumbled upon it after it's been on the market for 2 years, I drive past it regularly, I had no idea how big it was until I saw the listing. It dawned on me this lot is meant to be our's. I brought Al back to see it, he agreed it was nice, but he couldn't quite get over the fact that half of the lot is surrounded by water. A creek runs alongside it and in the back there is a retention pond, there is a big berm around it though that retains the water. I grew up literally a hundred feet from this lot and when I say it doesn't flood, it really doesn't. My parents back yard used to flood, but for some reason the water doesn't rise on that side. The size of the lot is perfect for Acilia's dream of owning a horse someday (1.1 acres per horse is the requirement) and if we build, Al could easily put up his dream garage that has a shop attached to grow his business. There is something in it for all of us, and it feels meant to be. I have started thinking of all the logistics and possibilities, even drawing up a floor plan to turn over to a friend of mine who happens to be an architect. Al and I are going to meet with the county on Thursday to find out exactly what we would need to do to build on this lot. There is a big part of me that is at ease, feeling since it's meant to be, it will be. But there is another part that knows that God's will is God's will and I am sometimes not too clear on what He wants for us until after the fact. My prayer is that I see clearly what God's will for our family is, and I can't help but feel deep down how perfect this opportunity is for us. Time will tell, but I am busting at the seams in the meantime!!!