It's here!

This is the typical time of year to reflect and to feel hope for the new year. Looking back two years, I was sitting on New Year's Eve wondering if my marriage was going to make it. 2011 was about deciding the fate of my marriage. Ironically, my word for 2011 was commit. It is clear (in hindsight) that God had a plan for my marriage that year, and it was up to me to figure it out. I committed to many things that year, most important of all, I committed to my marriage. In my heart and soul, I took that foot that was "out the door" and brought it back in to be fully engaged in staying in my marriage and not so lightly throwing around the word "divorce". Infact, I believe I have not used that word outloud to describe my marriage in two years. My husband and I have been through many years of rough times. Some days are still less hopeful than other days, but I can't get over how God keeps reminding me to stay and to continue to try to work at what we have built. So that's what I do. I commit to the man I said my vows to and I take it one day at a time. Sometimes, minute by minute, because that's how we roll!

I talked about my word for this last year, and that directly pertained to grasping at straws to keep myself in line while waiting to put our house up for sale. Patience paid off, I made it through the year, and here we are! A few short months away from putting our house on the market. I am incredibly excited, I am also incredibly overwhelmed! I've been yearning for this for atleast 5 years and now that it's here, it feels like the pressure is on! I am so thankful that I have taken the past few years to start staging my home, though there are definitely still things on the "to do" list, I feel like we are in really good shape for showing this place off to potential buyers!

This year, 2013, is the year. I've put my faith into this year, and I have asked hubby to do the same and we are rolling with it. We have big changes forthcoming and I keep praying and praying and praying that we are on the path that God sees for us. It feels right deep down in my heart, which is why I feel like we are on the right track.

I'm not quite ready to reveal my word for 2013. Though I am excited to share, because it's a good one and I feel it's going to be life changing for me, I am also still testing my patience for 2012, and not sharing 2013's word until it is indeed 2013. :)

Stay tuned!

Full of thoughts

I have so many thoughts running through my mind as a response to watching a recorded version of "The View" right after the Newtown shootings. There were two interviews, one specifically that was so poised and made such perfect sense, I was about jumping out of bed with agreement! forensic psychiatrist Dr. Michael Welner was talking about so many things, of course he brought up guns and mental illness, because those happen to be the "buzz" worthy arguments. Infact, there have been uncountable comments made about changes that need to be made. This entire time, I've been observing (and yes, doing a little bit of my own argueing) all of the finger pointing and activism. It was fast and furious at first, and now, as with typical pattern, the talk has waned, people have not forgotten, however, it is simply not being talked about quite as much. Everytime something horrific happens, it affects the entire country, we all weigh in and vow that something must be done, and then in a sense, we go back to our everyday lives. I'm willing to guess it's because as horrible as it is, we feel helpless. What if something *could* change. Something right inside of our own homes. Dr. Welner talked about it on The View and I couldn't agree more. We are a violent culture. Everywhere you turn, there are video games, movies, music, all "everyday" type entertainment that desensitizes us and dehumanizes our neighbor. None of it is real and most people can watch it without having it affect them in a way that would have catastrophic affects, so we keep allowing it to inch it's way into our lives. Infact, I have this battle in my own home. My heart changed a few years back, I started growing my relationship with God and in turn, I've stopped filling my soul with things that I find offensive. My husband grew up watching scary movies and he seems to love the gore of it all. He finds nothing wrong with laying in bed, watching these disgusting (in my opinion) shows and movies and gets irritated with me when I won't watch them with him. My argument is "it hurts my soul". There are many things in our daily lives that "hurt our souls" and if we tune in to those feelings and instincts and make changes in our own lives, we will breathe fresh life into those around us.

Long babble short, here is what I have pressing on my heart to share with you today:

Some small changes I urge you to consider making in your home:
1. Believe, teach and practice the golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.
2. Teach your children to value life. All life. No matter who, what, where, when, why, if it's living, treat it with care. 
3. Examine the things you are watching and listening to in your home. This includes, music, video games, movies, TV shows. Set guidelines as to what is appropriate and better yet, what is NOT appropriate and stick with them.
4. Teach your children not to tell each other to "shut up" or call each other "names" or say "Oh My G--" every 5 seconds, there are better words in our vocabulary. 
5. Teach your kids to remain calm, remind them to take a breath when they are frustrated and to think about what comes out of their mouth. 
6. Listen to your children. Validate their feelings.
7.It's crucial to practice what you preach ladies and gentlemen. Kids are sponges. We are their first and best role models. Do NOT do things in your own life that you would not want your children doing. They learn from us. 

One Word 2012

My word for this year was Patience. one-word-2012.html

I can look back over the last year to see that I have exhibited patience many times. I heard the word patience in my head on numerous occasions throughout the year and it has slowed me down a few times in the process. I take my "word" for the year seriously. I put a lot of thought and prayer into the "theme" that I will follow and have full intentions of making changes in my life surrounding one word. I am an overachiever. I get a "challenge" and I want to complete it with full gusto. I've learned over the years that if I get in over my head, I get overwhelmed and I quit. So, it's appealing to me to choose just one word each year to really focus on without the overwhelmed overachiever coming out.  One word is powerful and because I believe changing myself for the better is a journey, the "one word" experience really works for me.

So, to be more specific, I started this year with full hopes of looking at my impulsive self and slowing down. Being patient with myself, being patient with my life, taking the time to really soak up what is around me and to learn to appreciate the moment instead of racing to the next thing. I am still a mile a minute type of person, however, I've learned to really look at my impulsiveness and see it for what it is. I can take a moment of impulsiveness and decide if it's right for me or if I need to sit on it for a while before moving on it.

A huge test of patience for me, has been waiting to move to a new house. When Miles was born, we put ourselves on the 5 year plan. It felt like it would be FOREVER before that 5 years was up, so I worked to push it out of my mind. A little over a year ago, we did the same thing, we made some changes in our life and budget to make sure that when we are ready (when Miles goes to Kindergarten) our ducks would be in a row. This was something that I really had to focus on keeping patience with because I have done it the other way, I've tried to put our house up for sale by owner, and when it didn't sell, I rushed into putting it up for rent. I didn't take my husband's lack of interest to heart, when he stated he was not into the idea of renting. I ignored him and pressed on. As we rushed through this whole process, I was actively viewing homes and touring them and pushing and pushing and pushing!! I felt like if I pushed hard enough, it would happen. It finally took a cold hard tell it like it is lender to tell us we couldn't carry two mortgages and he basically laughed at me over the phone. I was incredibly offended. My dream was crushed right there and that was when I decided we needed to go about this the right way. The calm, straight forward, PREPARED way. We've been working our way towards putting the house up for sale, the kids will start at new schools next year in the district we are moving in to and it FINALLY feels as if things may work out. I have patience to thank. Patience told me to slow down, and to do things the right way. The slow, planned and calculated way. It's best for us and I am patiently yet eagerly awaiting the day it all unfolds for us! I've allowed myself to dream and to plan, and with that, I've been able to really pinpoint a direction. I couldn't have done that without patience because impulsiveness would have won. There is a time for impulsiveness, and I am thankful that I have learned how to figure it out in my own life!

Daily Encouragement.

It's increasingly important to me to be an encouragement to others. I've decided to get more active on my He Guides Me Facebook page. My hope and prayer is that I can post something encouraging everyday on the page. They will not be posted here, so if you need a daily dose of "Happy" please *like* He Guides Me on Facebook! :)

He Guides Me

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(Image courtesy of Charlestown Patch)

I've been praying a lot over the last few days. Most of it relating to Sandy Hook elementary. I am a person that feels called to inspire and encourage others and that is something I take very seriously. As I was asking God to help me to speak only of the good, to bring hope and encouragement at a time of such despair; no real light bulb went off in my head. I didn't have an answer or a revelation of any sort. What I do have is a grip on trying to refrain from replying to all of the negativity that is out there surrounding this matter. There is a lot of finger pointing and I know that deep down everyone is just grasping at anything that can to try to feel they have some control over a situation that was inexcusable and unexplainable. No one with a sliver of a soul could possibly understand what would possess someone to go into a place that is deemed safe and wreak unspeakable havoc on the innocent souls inside. I will say this, there is good where you seek it. This tragedy is no different. The women that literally laid down their lives to save children that were not even their own, the father who spoke out on behalf of forgiveness in honor of his sweet daughter who perished, the K-9 charity that traveled many miles to bring their dogs to comfort the community of Newtown Connecticut, the stories of faith and hope and the beautiful tributes like SNL's Silent Night that is bringing light and support to this tragedy. No one would have hoped for this to happen, but my faith is strengthened in humanity when I see what has transpired over the past few days. I urge all of you, those that are up in arms about laws that need to change, or those in the media who feel the need to cover this tragedy in a sensationalized way, to just take a step back, and look for God. He is there, He is with us, weeping alongside us as He knows America is hurting over this. A father of a Columbine victim spoke today, a woman in Aurora Colorado spoke about when the theater was shot up, these are people that have walked the same path as those that are hurting in Connecticut, they are offering wisdom in a situation that seems impossible that anyone could relate. There is light in the darkness, it is all around us and it's shining brighter each day. Hold on to that, don't let go and move forward as the days come, be the good in this world. We are all here for a purpose, those babies didn't have to die on Friday, it seems their lives were ripped away, it is up to us, all of the survivors to rise up and be better than we were before this horrible piece of history took place.

Breaking the "rules"

Christmas among many other traditional types of holidays and events comes with many rules. Each individual family forms the rules to make it special for them. It's fun to see all of the out of the box types in these situations.

When I was growing up, Santa did something a little unusual in our home each year. The night we put up our Christmas tree was the night he filled our stockings. It was his way of telling us that he knew we were ready for Christmas. I loved this as a child and when I had my own kids, I wanted to carry that tradition on.
I did it for the first few years until my husband shared he was opposed to this and for whatever reason it really bothered him that we did it this way. Needless to say, once he expressed his feelings about the whole thing, I couldn't in good spirits carry on that tradition. For the past many years, I've diligently filled the stockings on Christmas Eve, to be opened on Christmas day with all of the other gifts.

I find this to be anti climactic so to speak, I mean, the stockings surely get overlooked when there are gifts under the tree that need opening! That's just my opinion! I know there are many who use the stockings to stock up on the "practical" things like underwear, toothbrushes, etc. I tend to put practical things in my stockings too, but mostly the stockings are just a place to put all of the little odds and ends that I think my kids would enjoy, but they are too small to wrap.

Well, this year, I got the urge to fill the kids stockings this weekend. Last night that urge was put into play. I was giddy as I filled the stockings, knowing full well this would be a fun surprise for the kids to wake up to in the morning. We woke up to a gloomy morning and the kids worked their way downstairs. I followed them, and turned the light on in the family room. I was curious to know how long it would take them to notice :) It didn't take long and the excitement was apparent!

We've had a laid back morning so far as the kids enjoy their goodies. Miles was loving his little teeny remote controlled car, I must say, it's pretty cool! It came in a "can" and with lot's of spunk!

Acilia has been listening to her new Taylor Swift CD and I am thrilled that "Santa" snuck in last night to surprise the kids with their stockings overflowing. On the Santa note, Acilia is experiencing her first year "in the know" and she has been thoroughly enjoying being in on the "secret" while still keeping up the fun for her little brother and other children. It's been fun to watch her as she smirks to herself at the mention of the Jolly old man! Miles this morning did ask if I was the one who filled the stockings this morning. I said yes I did, because I wanted to give Santa a break. Moms are allowed to do that you know! :)

In Memory

We are America

Evil can try to break us,

We must rise. Hold on to the faith that we have

and know deep in our hearts that better things will come

Evil won't win

It may knock us down, it may set us back

But we are a nation that will pick up and move forward

stronger than before

Evil will not win

We won't let it.

Lives were lost today

Innocent lives. In a senseless tragedy.

We can shake our heads in disbelief, we can say we will never send our kids to school

We will send them, we must. This nation is built on pushing through.

The hard times, the tragic times, the times that make us question everything.

The times that shake us to our core and scare us out of our minds.

We must be strong.

Unity be with this nation.

This is a time to pull together and find the good will inside.

It's there in each of us. Don't allow evil to dim the light inside of us.

We are here, to make a difference.
Each one of us has a purpose.

Find the good in every situation.

Tomorrow is a new day.

A day of promise.
We have the hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

~Karrie Viscogliosi

God bless all of those affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting.

~12/14/12~