Saturday, November 12, 2011


This time of the year is hard on me. Going into winter is my idea of torture! I get depressed, I get anxious, I cry a lot more, it stinks. On top of those feelings, I am feeling a little down on myself. I am not sure where these feelings are coming from, maybe it's just my overall cruddy mood, but geez, I am not liking this. God created me for who I am, I feel like I am following the path he has laid for me and that alone *should* be enough for my heart to be content. Last year my life was in such turmoil, I wasn't sure my marriage was going to last, this year we have been blessed with a much stronger relationship and the stability I so craved at this time just one year ago. I am at a point in school where I can see my nursing program in the near future, meaning I am getting closer to my goal of becoming a nurse, and hubby and I are discussing building a home which has always always ALWAYS been a dream of mine, (I used to draw pictures of floor plans and elevations and really thought it would be cool to live in a house I designed someday). My kids are overall well behaved kids, I work hard on their manners and cleanliness and then I think, wow, did I spend any quality time with them today? Yes, we converse a lot, all day really, yes they are happy, but did I get some good giggles in, did I get down on their level and share with them the joys they've experienced that day? Did they look at me and think "I have the best mommy" today? I get so frustrated with my mind, because instead of just being grateful and content with my life as it is and the abundant blessings, I am feeling "less than". It's a tough pill to swallow and I am praying fervently for my appreciation to grow and my feelings of lacking whatever it is at the time subside!


  1. will you please read the book i recommended the last time you posted something like this?!?

  2. I'm sorry lady! It seriously sucks to be in that head space, and if winter brings it on... that is way too long a season! Maybe it's seasonal affect disorder?


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