Parenthood changes you. There are the obvious things that occur inside of a parent. Then, there are the changes that creep up on you.
I speak today about riding motorcycles. My husband has been an avid motorcycle rider since the ripe old age of 16. I started dating my husband when I was 19. His motorcycle was a thrill for me. Big part of our lives. I kept him company while he cleaned it. I begged him to take me on rides. I was absolutely in awe of this vehicle that was so fast and so joyous! My parents hated it! H A T E D i t. Can't blame them. Motorcycles are so very dangerous. Over the years we've been to more funerals than I would like to admit due to motorcycles. When I first started riding, jeans were considered the only must. We didn't wear jackets or helmets or gloves, and it was fine. We had no worries, we felt invincible. I was carefree on the back of that bike and I yearned for each and every ride! Years passed and my daughter was born. I recall a not so shiny moment during my pregnancy that I literally BEGGED Al to let me ride on the back. I was not very far along, there was no belly showing and I didn't understand why he wouldn't let me. I was so mad at him because he went anyway and I was left home. Acilia was born and she was very little when I got back on the bike. Life was a little bit different. I started saying prayers when I got on the back because I realized that both of her parents were on the same bike and the odds were unsettling that something *could* happen to us. The joy of motorcycles started to slip away a little bit for me. Afterall, I was a mom now. Life was not carefree as it was a short time before. Here I am 8 years later. Al still has a motorcycle, he had three up until recently! It's a true passion for him and as his wife I feel it's my duty to share in that passion sometimes. Today was one of those days. It's been amazingly beautiful here in the Chicago land area this past week and I felt it to be important to enjoy a few hours out on the bike with my husband. I said my prayers and then situated myself on the back of the bike, then allowed myself to enjoy the beautiful fall foliage. I was in my full gear, jacket, helmet, jeans, boots. That didn't make me feel safe though. The reality is, if we went down at a speed over say 45...there are serious injuries. It kills me that I can't enjoy something my husband enjoys, it kills me more that I feel guilt being on the back of that bike as I have children at home that need their momma. They need their daddy too. Life is so precious. Until this phase in our lives passes, I just pray that God is not ready for us up in Heaven just yet.